People feel warm and happy inside when you tell them you care. That is the number one reason you should appreciate other people. It only takes a moment!

A moment to care or abandon

Whenever you make even a momentary connection with someone, make it a worthwhile and positive one. You only have one short chance in which to tell them you care or you don’t. Let me give you some examples:

• Walking down the street and someone meets your gaze - When your gaze meets someone elses you can feel the connection. If you look away immediately you leave the other person with a sense of worthlessness and loneliness, as if you never wanted to see them. You don’t have to say hello but a smile and a nod says loud and clear that ‘I recognise and appreciate you as a person’
• Questions in the workplace/classroom - When people ask questions they are handing you the end of their rope that they hold precious for only those who they dearly trust. A quick answer without a glance or second thought is the same as pointing them in the right direction and leaving them dangling. A sincere interest in helping them solve their (however minor) problem is like reaching to them and pulling them up. When you lend people your strength they will feel they have gained someone to trust and will feel valued
• Shopping at the checkout - I worked in retail for 6 years while I was studying and I know it was very refreshing when someone treated you like a human as apposed to some machine made solely for customer service. So next time you are purchasing something beat the operator to the customer service lines. Strike up a genuine conversation with a smile and you will clearly see them relax. With a bit of luck they will smile too

When people put something of themselves out there, unless they are among the elite people who are self-confident, they find themselves teetering on the edge of a cliff. If they are accepted they will come out into the light, if they are left hanging they will throw themselves off into the dark pit below.

Sometimes it is easy to tell when it really matters that you put out a positive interaction. Someone sheepishly comes up and asks you a question in a trembling voice while looking at the ground. Other times it can be very difficult to pick up. People who are used to always putting on a smile and acting as if everything is fine are hard to read. Generally you have to watch their body language very carefully. Are they standing stiffer than usual? Is their head inclined slightly higher? Do they appear to be hanging after their question is asked? Are their eyes open a little wider than normal? Not something that is easy to analyse as it varies from person to person. Just be receptive and trust your gut feeling.

An example of mine

Recently I attended an awards ceremony which dealt with probably 100 recipients, their families and high-profile industry sponsors. The next day I came into contact with one of the people who had been ushering people to their seats. They asked me if I enjoyed the night and I responded positively. Later on I read an email thanking the event organisers and noticed there was an extended thank you for the tremendous time and effort of the person I had just been speaking to.

Thinking back to the moment I was asked the question about the night I can clearly picture the expression on her face. It was an expression of ‘I’m not going to claim I worked really hard but I want to know that people appreciate it’. So what at face value could have been taken as a casual conversation really had much deeper implications.

The key points to take out of this are:

• Show everyone you care - It only takes a moment of dedicated attention
• Even seemingly minor events can matter - It may be an offhand question or they could be trying to hide their real hopes. Treat everything like it matters, it could make a big difference

When have you seen the little things you do make a big difference to someone’s life?