Life Change is Hard Work
Changing your life is hard work. There is no denying that it takes constant effort.
Last time I wrote that life is simple and that the process for changing your life is simple. It is. Observe, Discover, Free Yourself. I also hinted that in order to do this a lot of hard work is required and that is what I want to talk about here.
Why is Change Hard
Most of us live unconsciously. We let the thoughts and feelings inside us guide our every action and live our life.
Stop for a moment and watch your thoughts and feelings.
If you watch carefully you will soon see some desire. I stopped and watched, a few seconds later I heard a car screeching down the street way to fast. Immediately my mind wanted to complain, to tell someone about it and how the world would be better without them hoons.
With no effort on my behalf I will either enter some daydream on the topic or search for someone near and talk about it. It takes effort to first of all see the thought and then break away from it.
Without the effort to observe and break away from these elements we won’t make any real change.
Courage is a Requirement
When we start looking at ourselves we will inevitable see things that we don’t like. We will see elements within us that are lustful, hateful, envious, hurtful and elements that just make us do the wrong thing.
Our initial reaction is not to believe what we see, we want to think that we are perfect individuals and good people who would not do anything wrong. Or at best we pick and choose what we accept as our faults, ignoring the rest.
But the reality is we all have these aspects inside us somewhere waiting for their opportunity to manifest. While we are not ‘them’ we are still responsible for the actions that we take.
It takes courage to acknowledge that these elements exist within us. But in order to work on removing them we have to see every single tiny aspect that makes them up.
By seeing everything without sugar coating it we slowly gain an understanding of how they operate and the consequences of their actions. This understanding is vital to breaking free from them.
Continuous Commitment is Necessary
As I wrote previously, continuous work is the only way to make progress in self improvement.
Self improvement is like pushing a barrel up a hill. If we stop pushing, slowly but surely the barrel will start rolling down the hill. It even requires effort just to keep us at a certain level.
The further we go the greater the rewards are, but the harder it is to make more progress. The issues become harder to see and rooting out all their aspects more difficult.
Self development is not something you can just do in your spare time and see lasting results.
You may get a few ‘aha’ moments and change some things drastically in your life but without continual work the internal elements that cause the problems will keep coming back.
Summarising the Hardships of Life Change
Bringing it all together we have the following:
- Life Change requires a changing direction – This work makes us swim against the tide, it’s much easier to go with the flow and not change. It takes great effort
- Courage is necessary – You have to be able to try new things and acknowledge the reality of everything you see
- Commitment must be constant – To continually improve you must always push, if you stop pushing you certainly won’t improve and most of the time will begin to regress
Change requires effort. Something new must be brought into our lives. It is hard but well worth it.
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July 17th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I like what you said about “Self development is not something you can just do in your spare time and see lasting results.” Sooo true. It has to be continuous. We have accumulated a lifetime of negative thoughts, emotions and beliefs. They are not going to disappear overnight or with just a day’s work!
July 17th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Well said Evelyn,
Many times I’ve got to stages in which I’ve looked at everything and thought I’m really satisfied with where I am at. So I would stop pushing to improve myself. Every time I stopped pushing I would start to slip, my level of peace and happiness would plateau and slowly slip off as I slowly got dragged back into living unconsciously.
Then when I finally realise the mistake I made in stopping I always discover even greater levels of peace and happiness than I thought was possible. I hope now to not make an error in judgment again and become complacent, I want to keep pushing and come to even greater levels of understanding, peace and happiness.
July 18th, 2008 at 10:57 am
So true. Trying to become a better person is also like walking through a swamp. Stop moving and the swamp rises up around you as you sink deeper. Until we get some momentum going and we learn more about where we are, our base instincts and unconscious drives rise up.
We absolutely have to keep moving. Our life depends upon it. The good part is, that the more we do so, the more adept we become at navigating the territory. We become nimble and strong and aware. We might still be in the swamp, but our experience of it becomes totally different, and we can now see our way out.
Your serious approach to your training shows. It is quite obvious that you are disciplined. Anytime I get the chance, I like to say that discipline is its own reward. There is magic in cultivating discipline.
Good stuff
John
July 18th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Beautiful article. I am in complete agreement that change requires tremendous work, and you so eloquently demonstrate this. This is an important topic to underscore. Thanks for the inspiration.
July 18th, 2008 at 11:52 am
@Bamboo: Thanks Bamboo, it is unfathomable how much work we all have left to do.
@John: I’ve never been through a swamp but it sounds like a good analogy. The sensation of sinking into unconsciousness sounds very appropriate.
I agree that we become stronger as we move. I also notice that the more I push the harder life gets. I mean I see more and more things about myself that I never know.
It is like a light in the darkness. It emits a certain amount of light enabling you to see a through a certain amount of darkness. As the lights strength increases, the radius of light increases. With the increased radius there is a greater circumference of darkness that is now visible to the wielder, so much more to learn.
July 19th, 2008 at 4:22 am
I like your article. It’s simple and yet deep. Loved your point about ‘Life Change requires a changing direction – This work makes us swim against the tide, it’s much easier to go with the flow and not change. It takes great effort’. It’s so true. It’s easier to be comfortable and get into inertia than jumping into the discomfort zone.
July 19th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Thanks for leaving a comment Avani-Mehta.
It’s easy to be comfortable, hard to be real.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Sometimes, small steps is the best strategy for effecting positive change. First and foremost, you need to become aware of the fact that you have a choice in life: 1. you can let other’s perception of you manifest itself into reality, or 2. you can make your own decisions to be what you want to be. This state of awareness is called taking responsibility for your life. The next step is action; even if it’s only one baby-step at a time.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:21 am
[...] needs to change is the hardest part and you must have the courage to do that for yourself. Life change is hard work. The good news is that once you have taken that step, there’s plenty of help out there, and [...]
March 1st, 2009 at 3:52 am
Great post! Thank you!