Everything I learn about myself by watching thoughts/emotions is done in the moment I see them. See and understand is how it seems to work.

Retrospecting at the end of the day is useful to see areas in which you didn’t do very well in watching(being aware) so you can improve tomorrow.

So my only conclusion is I need to keep working harder on myself.

I wouldn’t say you want to ‘control’ the thoughts/feelings. Whenever they appear stay separated and focus on staying aware. The more you practice the better you will get at it.

Personally I stay separate and then ask for the disintegration of each thing I see.

You can refer to: Overcoming shyness using warrior techniques in which I talk about this at the end.

Mainly just keep practicing to always do it better and better. If you think you are doing it badly then that is a good start, but that thought probably has to die to

The thing is though, I am aware of what I’m perceiving, thinking and feeling. But so far I haven’t figured out a way to control my inner distractions. For example, I do the dishes at home — which has been an activity that unleashes a lot of brainstorming, as I’m always thinking about something else.

But I don’t like it. I am always distracted and misses and forgets all kinds of details. When I work on my computer, I have all kinds of systems to capture my thought and organize my work load, so my system checks on me and keep me on track of “being in the moment.” But not quite so in all other areas of real life, from sharing a meal with family to playing with my kids.

This is definitely my current challenge in my growth — if you have suggestions, I’m all ears.

ari

Evelyn