I do not balance wanting to improve with accepting myself.

I am fine with whoever I am, just as I am fine with whoever everyone else is. Then I also want everyone to become the best people possible.

So I see it as 100% self-acceptance and 100% self-improvement. Full effort in both areas always, no balancing.

It is hard for me to answer the second question, I don’t really have the contextual background on ‘growth and expansion’. Not a phrase I use. For it is all about refinement, constant polishing.

Thanks for the questions Ariel.

Is improvement the same as growth and expansion?

The “elephant” in the article is destiny. Now that word “destiny” conjures up a bunch of meanings for a lot of people. For me, I’m not sure how I feel about it really. I mean, I believe we are all here for a purpose. Now what purpose that be is entirely unique to the individual… (continue reading>> http://on-common-ground.com/2007/11/06/where-the-elephant-wants-to-go

namaste, Roldan

I agree totally with your reference to our memories as a database, that is how I look at them to. They form my intuitive basis for future decisions.

“The past is useless” is a nice statement. I don’t know if you totally mean this 100% or if you are overemphasizing for making the point clear. I was recently emailed why I said “You are 100% responsible for what happens in your life.” It is really an “over-statement” but it is an empowering and subjective statement. If you are 100% responsible in your life, then you are able to act and are in charge. (Sure others are too, so it is not completely true from an objective point of view).

Because I think our memories (what really is what we call past) are in our database and can be used. What have we learned, where are we good, what is fun, what is to be avoided…

A good point. It depends when we talk about emotions. But lets leave that for another conversation

> For me it is in general not easy to get comfortable. I am very seldom
> in the situation of getting comfortable and I do not think that
> I am just not realizing it.

I don’t quite seem to understand why getting comfortable with something requires slowing down. I understand there is a tradeoff between learning new skills and learning old skills deeper. But particularly with internal development with things like removing fear, I don’t see where comfort and slowing come in.

Sorry dude, I seem to be quite slow at understanding you

That depends on your interpretation where reality starts and ends. Are other people’s emotions reality or not? If somebody loves you – is it reality or not?

>> I think we need also to allow ourselves to get comfortable.
> This time I don’t understand .

For me it is in general not easy to get comfortable. I am very seldom in the situation of getting comfortable and I do not think that I am just not realizing it.

Look here: http://www.slowdownnow.org/Main/Slow-manifesto.html

Don’t get me wrong – there are a lot of people that would very much need to read your tip – but probably they are not those reading your blog.

In this case I’m referring to us considering something a success or failure. If we think something is a success or failure, it does not add anything to reality.

> For me I think the opposite applies. I do see so much that I
> should learn so I often cannot find time to relax and reload.
> All the time on the run. And I don’t think that this is good.
> I think we need also to allow ourselves to get comfortable.

This time I don’t understand .

What are you doing when you reload? What are we getting comfortable with?

I say it is easy to get comfortable without realising it because I have fallen into that trap many times over the years and stagnated with my internal development. I also know plenty of people who have done the same thing.

With developing internal skills such as compassion, understanding and insight I don’t really see the problem with trying to improve all the time. If I was focused on improving say all my technical software skills then yes I would forever be blindly running as the target keeps changing. Which area of improvement were you talking about?

I hope maybe one day a lazy person would stumble across a site like this and be spurred into action, that would be nice

I don’t understand that.

> It so easy to get comfortable without realising it

For me I think the opposite applies. I do see so much that I should learn so I often cannot find time to relax and reload. All the time on the run. And I don’t think that this is good. I think we need also to allow ourselves to get comfortable.

Those who are “lazy” or those who are repressing their problems by getting comfortable are not those you will in general have as your readers (or audience) because they will sit with a beer in front of the TV instead.

The other ones who are trying to improve do also need time to get comfortable.