Fear is Not Your Friend
Recently I heard a viewpoint I disagree with, that viewpoint is that fear is your friend pointing you to personal growth.
In other words, if you discover your own fear of something then it is something you should pursue. As generally the fear is an illusion and the rewards of continuing will be great.
This implies that something happens to you in your life that raises a fear. Now this certainly occurs in the average life.
This logic does not make as much sense for someone who is deliberately living their life.
In a deliberate life we go out pursuing things that we value. In doing so fear is often raised in our hearts.
But regardless of whether fear appears or not we have already decided that our action and goal is something we want.
So in this instance fear is nothing other than a hindrance. It serves no positive purpose and can only stop us from getting to where we want to be.
Living Deliberately
Fear may tell you not to touch something hot. But what good is the fear when you already know that touching something hot will cause injury.
Living deliberately we consciously choose what we are going to do. Travelling in the direction we choose we will sometimes come across the obstacle known as fear. But it is just another obstacle to overcome.
Choose where to go and then go. You don’t need fear to tell you where to look.
When you have fear but you don’t see it then it is a hidden enemy, stopping you without knowing you are being stopped. This is fear at its most dangerous.
If you see it, then you can know it. When you know it and no longer let it control you then you can walk past it.
Then you can live deliberately.
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February 11th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Well, I am one of the people who said something along that line about fear.
What you’re saying makes sense, Jarrod, but I also think what you’re saying and what I’m saying are both true — perhaps in different context.
A lot of us have developed resistance. Resistance to be ourselves, resistance to face the truth, resistance to following our hearts. When this happens, such directions involve fear. This is when fear is useful as a signal pointing to areas in which we need more healing, mending or overcoming. Overcoming fear is a very effective way to grow as a person.
That said, you’re right, it’s not the case of just blindly looking for whatever you’re afraid of and pursuing it simply because you’re afraid of it. Ultimately, living deliberately according to our values is the ideal way to go.
If you don’t happen to have some psychological scars that stir up illogical (or seemingly logical) fears created by certain interpretations of life events, then it doesn’t apply to you. But such a person is rare, in my experience.
ari
February 11th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
@Ari: Right Ari. Ridding yourself of fears in general is a good thing. I guess I tend to look at fear somewhat independent to anything that it may be blocking me from. Then I just work on the fear.
What I’m trying to say is that I see fear attaching itself to things rather than fear being part of an activity. So I separate it and work on it.
February 14th, 2009 at 1:59 am
I would say: If you listen to yourself and resolve suffering then you can resolve fear. Continuous fear is your inner self shouting at you to be considered.
Everything that gets suppressed calls back with louder voice until resolved.
January 24th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Analyzing and figuring it out is vastly different from experiencing. Whatever you experience fully tends to disappear. The turning point occurs when you become “willing” to fully feel fear. It all depends on ones willingness. It is the most fundamental choice.
January 25th, 2010 at 2:47 am
I agree with you. Allowing to fully feel what you are currently experiencing is a required prerequisite.
January 27th, 2010 at 8:42 am
@Eli and Martin: Experience and understanding is what I think is most required. Seeing fear as it is manifesting while maintaining the ability to see it provides this in my own experience.
Yet each to his own experience.