The Difference between those who Chase Dreams and the Rest
There are two types of people. Those who chase their dreams and those that just let life run it’s course, only thinking about their dreams.
On the weekend I bumped into some work colleagues from 2 years back and we had about 60 seconds in order to update each other on our lives. I quickly rattled off how I was now a software consultant, australian Iaido champion, black belt in Jodo and learning japanese.
When I asked them how their life was, their response was a rather sheepish ’still working at y company…’.
Immediately I felt bad for them, they were giving me the impression that their life was in some way inferior to mine. I know this to be incorrect, everyone has the right to choose how they live and have equal access to happiness.
However this conversation consolidated what I have noticed with a few of my other friends. There are two types of people: Active and Passive dreamers.
Which Dreamer Are You?
Those that are passive see their dreams as just dreams, things that they cannot attain. Their thought process goes along the lines of ‘that would nice to have/do but …’. There will always be reasons that the mind can make up to shy away from chasing your dreams.
Active dreamers understand the difficulties that must be overcome and they put in place plans that will enable them to achieve their dreams.
People can switch between the two styles easily.
For a long time I resisted chasing the dream of being fluent in japanese. I rationalised that I didn’t have time to learn a language, that most of my friends spoke chinese so maybe I should learn that instead, many people say that learning a language is very difficult so it’s not worth the effort.
I was very passive if not negative about my ability to chase this dream. Until one day I said to myself, ‘I’ve been considering learning japanese for almost a year, I must want it on some level. I will learn japanese!‘. I locked that decision in my mind and committed myself by signing up for some japanese classes after work.
Once I got home I researched all the information I could find about people who have managed to learn japanese well and how they did it. I refused to listen to the people who said you have to live in the country to learn it because I had made my decision to learn japanese, no matter what my circumstances were. Soon I come across a guy who had taught himself to a high level before moving to japan.
Now I had dedication, motivation, a plan and momentum to turn my dream into a reality. I became an Active dreamer.
The qualities I possessed while I was a passive dreamer of learning japanese were:
- Fear of failure
- Helplessness
- Restricted and Incapable of useful action
- Submitting myself to carry on with my life just as it is, the path of least resistance
When I became an active dreamer I gained the qualities of:
- Burning desire / passion
- Energized living
- Easily excitable
- Determined
- Proactive
- Committed to taking myself to the next level of ability
Looking at the changes in my attitudes it is clear that one is an empowered life capable of achievement, the other is a restricted life that drags on.
Whenever I discover something I want I look carefully at myself and ask which qualities am I currently exhibiting.
Have you been a passive dreamer for too long?
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June 7th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Hi Jarrod,
Awesome post – and reminder for all of us. It can be way too easy to dream dreams, and then let them fade in our memory as we continue to “go through the motions”. And while I don’t argue that someone can be content where they are – I see life as so full of possibilities – but they don’t just fall in our lap – we have to actively make them happen. Great stuff to think about (and act upon!).
June 8th, 2009 at 12:13 am
@Lance: Nice to hear from you Lance. I like what you say about seeing life full of possibilities. When I sit by myself thinking of what I could do in the world I’m bombarded by too many options. Without laying out a plan I would be lost in a whirlwind.
June 8th, 2009 at 3:10 am
I applaud your courage in going for what you want. Good distinction you’ve made here and you’re right often we move from one state to the next and back again. I guess that’s why I’m inspired by the self-employed – they seem to be more active in both their dreaming and in their doing.
June 8th, 2009 at 9:55 am
@Tom: I have a friend who recently quit their job and is starting to work for myself. When I hang around with him I can feel a totally different energy coming off of him than those who are just getting by in their jobs.
June 8th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I am glad that you have taken the steps to learn Japanese first. It shows your level of intent in taking on a new project. I wish you every success in gaining fluency with the language!
June 8th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
@Evelyn: Thanks Evelyn, positive reinforcement is always welcome.
Intentions count for nothing before taking action and then they count for everything once you begin as they are transformed into motivation.
June 13th, 2009 at 4:05 am
I disagree with the distinctions you draw between active and passive dreamers. A passive dreamer is not someone who doesn’t believe in their dreams. That’s a cynical dreamer. Disbelieving affects both active and passive people alike. The only reason “active dreamers” seem to get better results is because most of us have conditioned ourselves to believe that we must take action to get results.
In truth, action is just an outlet for the thought that created it and there are many other mediums through which thought can manifest. Action, for its part, is primarily a means of experiencing reality, not creating it.
You don’t build muscle by working out. You build muscle by resting.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
@Josh: It is all depends how you slice your cake. I’m sure there are plenty of categories in which both active an passive dreamers can fall.
If you could send me an email I would like to hear more about how thoughts can get results without action.
Also if you let your muscles rest they don’t get bigger, they atrophy and degenerate. Through working out combined with rest you build muscle.
June 13th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Resistance training is what brings the desire to grow stronger down to a cellular level. Yes, we need the resistance in order to attract the results, but in actuality it’s the resting–the allowing–that achieves them.
Deep down, the only reason we ever take action is because we think doing so will result in us feeling better. Either by striving to gain/experience something we think we’ll enjoy, or to avoid something we fear we’ll resent.
Why believe that action is a necessity for results when you can so easily feel better just by thinking better thoughts? With so much contrast out there, so much resistance in the way of any truly daring dream, why should we strive to take action in order to achieve? Why add to the pushing against that most action ends up manifesting as?
Action is a blessing if it helps us believe, but a bottleneck if it becomes the only way believable. We must stretch our imaginations beyond what’s presently proven to work if we’re ever to reach the heights of human potential.
History repeats itself only because we allow the drum of what’s been done to bang louder than the dream of what we can realized. But it’s never too late to jump off the treadmill of life and begin walking a higher path.
June 14th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
@Josh: Very interesting.
I’m a firm believer that any internal state can be achieved through managing my own thoughts. I shouldn’t say I’m a believer, it’s how I live.
However I believe that acquiring any physical things that one desires requires some physical effort along the way.
If I’m wrong about this I would like to investigate further. Can you provide a link to somewhere I can read more about this aspect?
August 18th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Your site is very elegant! I’m a firm believer in taking action to do what it is you truly desire. I’m curious as to why you wanted to learn Japanese so badly. I think that knowing the why of something helps us attain our goals and minimze our risks. I recently realized that it’s important to be very careful of what I want to do…sometimes there are consequences if we are not careful. I recently started playing soccer at the age of …well let’s just say over 50. Why? So I could do something fun with my daughter and to play soccer…I thought it would be very fun, even though I knew I had weak bones. Everyone my age and older cautioned me…no, don’t do it..you’ll get hurt. But the younger ones said yes, give it a try! I lost sight of why I wanted to play and guess what…yep I got too agressive and after my fourth game I now have a broken leg after a run in with a much stronger goalie on the other team while trying to make a goal. It wasn’t important to make the goal…but I forgot why I was there….the why. Took a needless risk. However, I’m glad I played. I learned something…the fun of playing soccer and the need to know my limitations. I also got to play soccer with my post college age daughter, yay. I think knowing why you want to do something can be just as important as wanting to do it in the first place. Had I stopped to consider how I should be playing I would have done some more research and not placed myself so close to the goalie…to the risk. Managing risk is just one part of doing what you want….the rest is doing it!
August 18th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
@Maria: Thanks Maria.
As for wanting to learn japanese one reason is that quite a few of my common activities involve interacting with japanese material or japanese people (I do japanese martial arts). So I feel drawn and wanted to understand more about the japanese culture through their own words, not a translation.
In addition when I started learning I discovered it to be incredibly difficult and as I enjoy a challenge, learning is part of why I want to do it.
That all being said I still don’t know totally why I want to learn it. It is more like a culmination of many parts of my life. Consequently I’m taking a slightly extended holiday to japan to explore what it is actually like there.
Dream and act, but re-evaluate along the way. The efficient path to a interesting series of events.