photo credit: James Jordan You never need to fear missing your goals. You never need to be upset about failing to hit your target and here is why.

Failing to meet your goals is your viewpoint.

It is one way of looking at those goals. It is quite valid to choose a different viewpoint, there is no one right viewpoint.

Today I looked at the goals I set for the week, I failed to meet all 3 of them. They were challenging but I have met goals of that difficulty many times before.

So I did some retrospecting on why I failed to meet my goals and looking at my behavior this is what I discovered.

I deliberately choose not to meet those goals.

I have distinct memories of sitting in front of my computer and having a thought flash through my mind saying ‘you need to learn some kanji now in order to meet your goal’. Then I remember choosing to study some videos on life coaching instead.

Does this mean I failed to meet my goals? From a narrow and rigid viewpoint, yes it does.

But if I look deeper I have to ask, why did I choose to study life coaching instead?

The answer is in terms of my life right now, researching that area provides me much more value and happiness than learning japanese.

That is how my beliefs are currently set up.

Based on that I’m glad that I did not meet my goals, what a waste of time that would have been.

Now looking ahead to next week I have to carefully consider what goals I really want and which ones I want most.

Failing to meet your goals is never a bad thing, you are at least one step ahead as you actually set  goals.

But if you learned something important about yourself then failing to meet your goals is a good thing!

Meeting goals is always secondary to learning about yourself and the nature of happiness.

photo credit: NeoGaboXEver wanted something and then when you got it realised it was not what you really wanted?

Today I took off my jacket to show my brother the new backpack I bought and then when I went to get my jacket again I couldn’t see it.

I did a full 360 and couldn’t spot it. Then my brain clicked and I realised that I was looking for my black jacket when what I wanted was my white jacket.

I had put my jacket on my bed, when I was looking for it my eyes passed right over it and I didn’t ’see’ it. When I replay it in my mind I can see the white blur as my eyes passed over it, yet it didn’t register as what I wanted.

What had happened was my brain said ‘pick up jacket’, as I have only one white jacket which I rarely wear my brain said, ‘your jacket is black, look for something black that is a jacket’. Consequently I totally missed it.

Ask If It Is What You Really Want

My example is trivial but it is an identical situation that can occur on any scale in your life.

You want to marry a rich and successful person because they will be a positive partner in your life. But are you really looking for a rich and successful person? Or do you really desire a sense of security and confidence in your life?

Think that life coaching is the career you want? Or is it really that you think it is an easy career where you can just talk to people about goals and make an easy living?

Whenever you come across something you want, whether it be a goal or a physical item it will be worth your time to ask yourself some questions.

What benefit will this bring to my life?

What feeling will this give me or relieve me of when I get it?

What most excites me about my future with this thing?

Now you can dig a little deeper into your internal desires.

How else can I get these feelings?

What would I have to do or acquire in order to get the same feelings 10x stronger?

What belief do I hold true that says that getting what I want will make me feel this way? Is this a valid belief? Can I have a better belief?

Asking all these questions will help you not only discern what you really, really want and avoid spending time chasing imaginary solutions. But it will also help you to learn about yourself and learn how you can rapidly satisfy the deeper demands that we have as human beings.

photo credit: woodleywonderworks

It’s a sunny afternoon and I’m outside sawing wood to help my parents and other then enjoying the moment all I can think of is analogies to living life and achieving goals.

So here is how sawing wood can help you get the most out of life.

Read the rest of this entry »

photo credit: conorwithonen
Often we read about highly developed people acting very child like, full of happiness, joy and free of wonder. We are told that it’s a state we have lost, but that we can reclaimed.

But how do you get there? How do regain our child like joy of the world?

Do we need to try and act like a child to get back to our child like state that we have lost?

Or should we be heading in the opposite direction and master the complexities of our adult lives?

Recently I was reading a very down to earth post on Being like a child by Martin Wildam of One-Two-Solved and I was very impressed in the way he put his answer.

“I think the key does not lie in the intention to return to childhood. I think the key lies in mastering the uncertainty and worries by surpassing a certain level of wisdom.”

This hits the nail on the head.

A child does not worry much because it has few worries.

Adults worry a lot because they have many concerns.

Adults can attain the desired qualities of a child by reducing what they worry about.

Worrying is a compulsion of the mind and consequently it can be attended to with some careful self observation.

When you see yourself and start to understand your worries you begin to break free.

Do this all the time and you start to run out of worries and you automatically attain that much more freedom.

So grow up and if you do it well you might find some very immature people jealous of your childlike happiness.

photo credit: h.koppdelaneyThe one thing I wish I could have everyone understand is that you are not your thoughts and emotions.

Everyday I see people get frustrated or afraid. The thoughts and emotions restrict them because they cannot distinguish between what they ‘are’ and what their thoughts and emotions are.

Let me tell you right now that there is something that exists beyond individual thoughts, beyond swirling emotions.

In between thoughts, there is a gap. In that gap is something silent, something ever-present and all encompassing.

It sits there constant and vigilant as thoughts and emotions go by in their daily whirlwind.

The moment you drive a knife between what is ‘you’ and your thoughts/emotions you discover the space to distinguish between them.

Then you realise that with every single one you always have a choice.

You don’t have to be afraid to show your true self.

You don’t have to be annoyed at the world.

You can smile uncontrollably if you really want.

A thought that appears is just lightning in the thunderstorm of emotions. When you have a umbrella grounded to the earth it doesn’t matter what the weather is like.

You are free to do and feel whatever you want.

So start realising your own freedom.

Feel the gap, grasp it in your fingers and embrace what springs forth from your heart when you give it space.

Now is the time to love rocking your life.

Everyone says to find a job you love doing. That you are passionate about.

I agree that the best jobs are the ones that align with your values and passions.

But you should never leave a job just because you are not happy with it.

Sound contradictory?

A Job is a Job

A job is simply a set of physical or mental tasks that are undertaken in order to receive remuneration.

In other words, a job is what you do to get money or some other emotional benefit.

A job is neither good or bad, it is the same as walking down the street.

You choose if you are happy at your job or not.

Read that sentence again.

Understand that you Choose to Hate your Job

If you hate your current job then ask yourself the following questions:

• How would you describe the negative emotions/thoughts you have towards your job?
• What are the activities that bring up these negative emotions?
• Who makes me feel bad about working and what is it that they do or say that makes me feel this way?

When thinking about it you discover that what you truly hate is the emotions that you experience while you are at work.

So the solution to deal with a job you hate is to first understand why this job raises the emotions that it does.

A while back I wrote on How to Not Hate your Job in which I talked about how I went from being totally stressed out at work to actually having fun while doing the same job.

I hated my job because I couldn’t deal with the stress of highly strung bosses and upset customers. Once I realised that the stress was what I hated about my job I took steps to learn how to deal with it and consequently the same situations no longer hurt me.

I no longer hated my job, rather I used it as a tool to learn about myself and to create a better life.

This is why you must understand why you ‘hate your job’ before you try to change it.

Make Change Based on Understanding Yourself

No job will bring you never ending happiness.

Happiness comes from inside yourself, a job is just where you get to express it.

Once you have gotten through and released your hate towards a job you can start working on discovering more enjoyment in your work.

Look at the things that are most enjoyable both in your life and in your workplace. Try to spend more time doing those at your job.

If you find that you cannot bring those aspects you enjoy into your job then now is the time when you can start looking for a job that aligns more with your passions.

Now you choose a new job based on what you want, not on running away from what you think you hate.

We make better choices when we understand ourselves.